A young boy goes to the beach with his family. He takes his favorite toy with him to the beach. His Super Gonzo joins him in building a sand castle and swims with him. The boy think that throwing his Gonzo in the air would be fun. Gonzo is wearing a cape. He should be able to fly. Much to the young boy's surprise his beloved Gonzo cannot fly. He is full of beans and the weight takes him to the bottom of the water. Too far for the young boy to swim to. The young boy calls a search party. The search proves unsuccessful and the boy leaves the beach without his Gonzo.
That is one of my earliest memories. It is so vivid that I can see the moment when I lost my Gonzo and feel the pain of it. Only that memory isn't real. Until a few years ago, I kept that memory with me, and used it as a sign to hold on to the things that I mattered most to me. A few years ago, I was shocked to find Super Gonzo in a box of stuffed animals at my parent's house. Had this memory been a dream? Had my parents replaced my Super Gonzo? Had I forgotten that part of the story?
It's hard to say what is true. It's hard to see what really happened with that toy and not feel like the memory I have is real. I have the memory of losing it, and now the memory of finding it again. However, I'm left wondering if there are other memories that are distorted. Have I accidentally fabricated years of memories? Do other people have memories of events that never happened?
In any event, I have my Super Gonzo now. He sits on a shelf, and I look at him sometimes and wonder how my mind let me think he had disappeared forever.
